Where Good Intentions Go To Die

I had good intentions of starting to blog again. Back in the summer I read back on when I was blogging when Mateo was born. I thought it was cool to go back in time and read what was on my mind, what was fuelling my day to day parenting choices and what was grinding my gears.

I mostly blog to chronicle my life and to share stories with family and friends. Sure I day dream that I could become a famous blogger that could stay home with her children and get paid to be awesome but that hasn't happened yet.

So I returned to work, once again. It's always a bittersweet feeling. Lately more bitter than sweet. I love being at home with my boys. So when well meaning colleagues or acquaintances say, but it will be nice to have adult conversation again I think, you were doing it if that's your main reason to return to a job outside of the home. I also think they forget I teach 3rd graders!

Now don't get me wrong, I don't want to sound like a sanctimonious bitch but I would much prefer to have my child cuddled in my arms than someone else's. Daycare has never been easy for my children. And I often feel like I have been made to feel like I did something wrong, like I loved my children too much that it hurts them to leave me. Or that i nursed them too long, carried them too often, let them sleep too long by my side. 

But I also don't buy the adult conversation because I saw adults all the time. I had many coffee play dates, breakfast with the kids and a friend, swimming or skating, hell I even count the grocery store. I went out and about with the boys all the time. I didn't feel stuck at home and lonely. I consider myself lucky. I had two wonderful mat leaves filled with fun and adventures, sleepless nights and cozy naps during the day, mounds of laundry and always a mess to clean up! But I wouldn't trade it for the world. 

Actually about now is when I would like my windfall from the universe so that I could comfortably stay home with the boys for as long as they need me.

 Mateo said, "mom don't work too much, you still need to take a break and play once in awhile". Wise words for a little boy 

 

What I will miss the most is all the outdoor adventures we went on. Sure we still have weekends. But nature is good for the soul everyday!

I loved dressing up with the boys for Halloween. Mateo was so played out by the time trick or treating, because we had some many events!

Last but not least, this little guy turned 1 last month. We celebrated with his grandparents in Winnipeg then a big party here a couple of weeks ago. Stay tuned for a preview!